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The Starbuck’s Challenge

Wednesday, August 17th, 2005

Quote of the Day: “If it’s electronic, get a new one…or consult a twelve year old.”

- Handyman Tips

On Wednesday, I had to take my daughter to piano lessons and with the half hour it took her to finish her weekly lesson (at $20 a pop), I ran over to Starbucks with a mission.

“I want an obscene amount of caffeine.”

“I want something I have to sign a waiver to drink.”

“I want solid caffeine crystals floating on the top like big ice cubes.”

With a laugh, here is what she suggested.

“OK, we can make you a venti Americano with extra shots. It’s basically 4 shots of espresso with hot water. We can put in 2 or 3 extra shots and some mocha or caramel to make it a little sweeter.”

Holy cow, she had that a little too at the ready.

I was unprepared to challenge the local Starbucks chick. My request didn’t seem all that out of the ordinary like I thought it would be and my “safety-be-damned” approach to insane amounts of caffeine was not only doable, but they could ratchet it up to medically unsound levels.

I went with just one extra shot of espresso and a shot of mocha. After tasting it, I put in some sugar.

I ended up drinking it all. Not only did it destroy my stomach, it probably blew my diet right out of the water.

But did it have the kick?

I thought I’d never sleep again.

Free Advice for Today: “Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.”

- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

9 Comments - Join in the conversation below

  1. You know, I see you put this one up as the only “Hall of Fame” entry, but I think you should consider the story about the woman on the subway (26 Jul 05) as another possible contender. That one by far got the most laughs here in the office.

    Comment by Jason — March 1, 2006 @ 2:51 pm

  2. Jason (cool name, by the way),

    You are right and on your suggestion, I added the one you mention along with a few others I found noteworthy.

    If anyone else has suggestions for other entries, let me know.

    Comment by Administrator — March 1, 2006 @ 6:26 pm

  3. Sir, I just noticed that you have the Entry Hall of Fame. I’ve been reading your site for quite some time now and would like to nominate The Blood Bath (Sept 29, 2005). Very well written and I think it describes a very normal event on MCRD.


    Sgt Pineda
    PS Hopefully I’ll see you in San Diego (I’m going to DI School in July)

    Comment by Sgt Pineda — March 5, 2006 @ 7:32 am

  4. Sir,

    Ever tried double-brewed coffee? Basically, all you have to do is brew a normal pot of coffee, and then change out the filter and crystals and re-brew using the coffee you just made instead of water. One of my buddies once did this and said six hours later he was still wired like he had the worst case of ADHD in existance.

    Seeing as how you used to be enlisted, you surely understand the need for this kind of coffee on suicide watches :D (which is where my buddy conceived the idea for it)

    -LCpl Dristy

    Comment by LCpl Dristy — March 12, 2006 @ 1:15 am

  5. Sir,

    Sorry to double post, but just wanted to share this also:

    Sgt Pineda says he is going to Drill Instructor School in July, that is crazy because I had a SSgt Pineda as a Drill Instructor in bootcamp (he was probably the one I learned the most from, also). Just thought it was a neat coincidence.

    -LCpl D.

    Comment by LCpl Dristy — March 12, 2006 @ 1:18 am

  6. Good Lord, not only would I shudder to imagine what that does to the inner working of a coffee pot but the sheer viciousness of such a concoction frightens me. But it doesn’t surprise me; Marines do weird shit like that all the time.

    Comment by Administrator — March 12, 2006 @ 8:02 pm

  7. júlía magnúsdóttir

    How Did I Get Here? » Blog Archive » The Starbuck?s Challenge

    Trackback by júlía magnúsdóttir — November 22, 2014 @ 8:31 pm

  8. Ian Leaf

    How Did I Get Here? » Blog Archive » The Starbuck?s Challenge

    Trackback by Ian Leaf — March 14, 2015 @ 4:59 am

  9. ?????y3

    How Did I Get Here? » Blog Archive » The Starbuck?s Challenge

    Trackback by ?????y3 — May 10, 2015 @ 7:31 pm

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