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Bikin’, Bruises and Bugs

Saturday, August 27th, 2005

Quote of the Day: “Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.”

- Unknown 15-Year-Old

The family bike ride started out by picking up Killjoy and Weezer where I had the distinct pleasure of introducting them to Trucky Truckasaurus. Of course since formal introductions were in order, I used Trucky’s full Christian name: Truckarius Truckasaurus. Weezer looked at me like I had broccoli growing out my head.

Fighting the understandable SUNDAY MIDDAY TRAFFIC JAM on I-95 (pardon me while I cuss profusely) we took about double the time to get to Mount Vernon. Yes, folks that’s THE Mount Vernon where old George slept there A LOT!

The ride was awesome and the weather cooperated with an overcast sky and cool temperatures. But two experiences stand out that involve a lot of pain.

First, on the way back I was tooling along at a pretty good clip going slightly downhill when I came to a wooden bridge where a man was hovering over a woman who was standing bent over and in obvious pain holding her side. Her words of wisdom:

“Slow down and don’t try to brake! You’ll run into the wood” (this last part said very bitterly).

I guess my daughter saw the whole thing and it was not all that pretty. Carrie said when she rode by, the lady was still splayed out and her bike was in the middle of the path.

Later as we were discussing to it, we got on the topic of the bike pedals that you can lock your specialty bike shoes into and I asked what happens if you wipe out.

Killjoy’s answer was instantly the Quote Of The Day:

“I guess you just take the wipin’.”

The other event was by the end of the bike ride, my lack of bike riding was starting to cause certain pain in a certain area, despite the gelliest seat cover money could buy. Suddenly, I had a desperate need to go watch show tunes. I think my exact statement was “I feel like Liberace after a night at Chippendales.”

The ride home was much better than the hell-ride to the trail and we made a pitstop at Wendy’s. Off course I had to make the joke that Killjoy resembled the Wendy’s logo and OF COURSE had to take it too far and follow the insult with the likes of Annie and Ronald McDonald. I am such an enormous ass sometimes. I’m sure Killjoy will second that statement. And Carrie will third it. And the kids…. hey, let up people… can we move on? …. geez!

When we were dropping Killjoy and Weezer off at home, Carrie invited them for a night of movies since none of us had any plans. It seems that Killjoy’s husband has the Looney Tunes Golden DVD edition that I’ve been dying to buy.

Yeah, that’s right. Looney Tunes. You gotta problem?

So they came over and we all watched Bugs Bunny once again get the better of Daffy Duck, a big fat opera singer, a baseball team full of thugs, Yosemite Sam, Elmer Fudd, and Pete Puma.

I guess my making fun of the gravity-challenged bicycler today came back to haunt me. As I was getting up to get another beer, I miscalculated the relative distance between my foot and the coffee table. As I lifted up my foot and committed my weight to a forward lunge, the top of my foot smacked the bottom corner of the table. Luckly, I didn’t fall but the impact was hard enough to cut the skin through my sock. That and a nice big golf ball on the top of my foot.

BTW, if you are wondering, it was the right foot so now after my ankle follies last week, I have two throbbing paws. Thanks for asking and stop laughing again.

Quick Freak-notes:

- Killjoy hates carrots. WTFO?
- Weezer doesn’t like Pringles. Just …… weird.

Great days, folks, great days.

Free Advice for Today: “Be willing to swap a temporary inconvenience for a permanent improvement.”

- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

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