How Did I Get Here?

Quote of the Day: “If you ain’t makin’ waves, you ain’t kickin’ hard enough!”

Well, folks, the law of averages says that it has to happen eventually.

I had a smooth ride to San Diego AND something just as rare happened also. It’s every guy’s hope that he will be sat next to an attractive female on a plane. More often than not, I am sentenced to sit next to a greasy, fat businessman with a penchant for garlic who won’t shut up until you elbow him in the throat.

But as I was walking down the aisle, I saw off in the distance a pretty young thing sitting in a middle seat, but I didn’t know if that was my aisle. As I got closer, I realized that yes, indeed, that was my aisle seat next to her.

What? OK, what’s the catch? Will she be in shackles? Will she have an uncontrollable flatuance problem? Will she be more of a flight-terror than me and freak out when we hit turbulence? I just couldn’t accept that this beautiful young lady was who I drew out of the big straw pull.

Next to her at the window was a very young Marine, obvious from his high and tight haircut. Why he was going TO San Diego, I don’t know. He looked like he should be leaving, post-bootcamp. But I assumed this was his girlfriend as I settled into my seat.

I’ve seen it plenty of times. Airline Casanovas making their moves on women who are as attractive as they are trapped on a plane next to their would-be suitors. I’ve listened to weak game many times and rolled my eyes at the utter lameness of the attempts.

Not only do I never want to be that guy, I’m like super-paranoid that I would APPEAR to be that guy to those around me. But it’s just too obvious, I thought. Good-looking woman sitting next to me for three and a half hours and add to the situation that the Marine and the girl never said a word to each other which told me they weren’t a couple after all.

I almost felt a pressure from those around me saying “Yeah, you know she’s hot so what are you going to say?” They were waiting for me to make my move so they could ridicule me inside their heads.

Our complete conversation was as follows:

Her: “Excuse me, I need to…”
Me: “Oh, yeah, no problem.” (as I got up to let her by)

Yes, folks, that was it. And the lesson is complete.

When I was young and single, I was too shy to talk to beautiful women. So the situation would have been the same two decades ago. And now, I’m too worried about society’s view to even have a plutonic conversation with anyone in public who happens to be attractive.

So with the understanding that I was not going to even talk to this pretty young woman, I sent some pretty strong mental waves at the young Marine at the window.

“Dude! She’s gorgeous! Say something you moron! Strike up a conversation and don’t be too damn shy to talk to her!!!! The time will come when it will not be acceptable to talk to such an exquisite example of the female race!!!”

He never did.

And the cycle continues.

Free Advice for Today: “Wage ear against procrastination.”