How Did I Get Here?

Quote of the Day: “I’d be happy to classify this document for you. Could you tell me its classification?”

Remember this story?

I wasn’t going to write about this but now I guess I have to. It only seems right (and ironic) after my latest discussions with Ray.

I blew past my max weight, according to the Marine Corps, so now I have to do heroic measures to lose the weight.

How did this happen? Easy, I got hooked on working out, built up some muscle under the layer of fat I already had but was dealing with. Then I served on the court martial and although I tried to work out at night, it didn’t work out (get it?) so I basically went a week without much activity. Then I went on a business trip and didn’t get around to working out there either but instead, thought it pertinent to gorge myself at all the local restaurants.

When I got back, I was reminded that I had not taken my semi-annual PFT. Oops. BIG oops. Included in this little joy each 6 months is a weigh-in.

So I went to the scale and hopped on. When the crying stopped, I realized what I had to do: massive, quick weight loss. I have 11 days.

My plan: work out at least twice a day with cardio and eat very little.

If you think that sounds tough (and it does to me), consider that I’m embarking on a trip home for the holidays to my Midwest Mexican side of the family where there’s enough Mexican food and other holiday goodies to choke an elephant.

This elephant will not be able to partake. I will have to abstain AND run twice a day.

This is going to suck.

The worst part about this is that I have to cut my trip short in order to get back and run the PFT on the 30th. But I promised my wife that I would try, really try, to not let my starvation and utter exhaustion interfere with the joy of the trip. And I mean it, I am going to be hyper-aware of my mood and even if I have to fake it, I will be the poster child for holiday cheer.

How did I fare the first day? At lunch I ran on the treadmill for 30 minutes, biked for 30 minutes, sat in the sauna for 15 minutes, rode the elliptical machine for 15 minutes, and sat in the sauna again for 15 minutes. Then I had a few bites of stew for lunch.

When I got home, I took a ½ hour nap (sweet Nirvana) and then headed to the YMCA where I did another 30 minutes on the treadmill, 15 minutes on the elliptical, and 15 minutes on the bike. When I got home again and took a shower, I kept my dinner down to a porkchop, a small helping of sodium free rice, and a big bowl of salad.

I could have eaten half the kitchen. Not what’s IN the kitchen… literally half the kitchen.

I don’t remember much after that other than Carrie was busy getting things ready for the trip and I barely had enough strength left to get things ready for tomorrow. As I went to bed, my last waking thoughts were those of doubt. Can I really do this?

And then before everything faded to black, I realized that my throat was sore and my nose was running. For a warped peek into my head, I actually thought that getting sick would help me lose some of the weight.

Free Advice for Today: “Choose a clothing salesperson who dresses as you wished you did.”