Quote of the Day: “Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.”
Give me a “V”! Give me an “I”! Give me ….. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Folks, if you have never explored the world of Vicodin, let me tell ya, it’s a wild ride. At first, I was like “Yeah!!! Bring on the big V!” and about ten minutes into it, I wasn’t feeling any pain. Then another ten minutes, I wasn’t feeling anything.
Today was pretty much a narcotic stupor and as fun as that may sound to some of you, it does get old pretty quick. I mean, I get sick leave so I everything sounds great, right? Get paid, no work, get to stay home, get to trip on drugs all day. Kind of like being Paris Hilton, all except that whole scrotal protrusion thing but even that’s getting better. And I’m not a slut.
So I got to sleep almost all day and for most of the time, that was great. In fact, Buster thought it was the greatest thing that ever happened in a billion years. But by the afternoon, I was sick of being in bed and it only took a few steps down the stairs to realize a couple of things:
1. Sleeping all night and most of the day can do a number on your equilibrium
2. Taking pain meds was necessary for what? Oh, yeah, that whole scrotal thing. NOW I remember, in vivid, pain-exploding living color.
3. Coming down off of Vicodin sucks ass and the only relief was more Vicodin.
I’d make a really shitty junkie, folks.
Oh, and I discovered that the experience of watching Regis and Kelly followed by Ellen is not improved through chemistry. I think I might have had to double my dosage to get through that.
I also think my glands are a little swollen which makes my face look like Jaba the Hut. Not a good look folks but then again, it might have been the whole hallucinations thing. But after running 36 miles, I have a pretty good track record with hallucinations and I’ll take run-induced ones over drug induced ones any day.
At least that’s what the little Leprechaun with a Chinese accent tells me.
Free Advice for Today: “Call before dropping in on friends and family.”
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.