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Stormchasing to Lejeune

Monday, April 17th, 2006

Quote of the Day: “I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. “Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide…”

- Mitch Hedburg

This morning’s trip took me from my home in Fredericksburg to Camp Lejeune. Yes, in my world, going on vacation starts with traveling to another base. So.

The point of this trip was to go see the Seymon’s who consist of a retired First Sergeant, his wife, and their three daughters. And lest I forget, their insane boxer who liked to stick her square snout in…certain places… What a slut.

Oh, and their three cats who made it their personal mission to infect me with a wicked case of allergies. My eyes starting itching and then turning red before the swelling started. It was a shame I had to kill them.

But the most memorable part of the night was when we were sitting around talking and the phone rang. It was their neighbor whose husband is in Iraq and she was calling to inform us that we were, you know, under a tornado watch. Or was it a tornado warning? I don’t know, just suffice it to say there were some swirling clouds above us and rumors of 80 MPH winds. As the news liked to call them: “tornadic” winds. I am NOT kidding.

Retards.

So we all got to watch the TV for an hour that showed computer generated blobs of color tumbling right over the very name of the small city we were in. I was not going to get in a bathtub, at least not all my clothes on and then my insistence of being alone would have left everyone else kinda out to dry. But the damn cats probably would have wanted to come or at least the crotch sniffing bitch.

Everything worked out. We had a good time remembering the times when I was a Lance Corporal and Mark was a Sergeant and we were all great drinking buddies. Now the baby that was asleep back then when we played quarters until the wee hours was home from college.

Mark had a lot of hair.

I had a lot more gray hair than back then.

He was a retired First Sergeant.

I was a Captain.

How things change.

Free Advice for Today: “Save ten percent of what you earn.”

- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

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