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Let Me Fix That For You

Thursday, June 29th, 2006


Quote of the Day: “The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.”

- Will Rogers

This morning was what I have dubbed the “Bowtie” run. This is when I just put on a bowtie and go running naked.

OK, maybe not. Maybe it’s the Bowtie run because I go 22.5 minutes down the path, turn around to return to the beginning and then go 22.5 minutes in the other direction and then return to the starting point for a grand total of 1 ½ hours of running.

Why do I do this. Well, other than being a tad more legal than the first idea, it’s a way to break up a run into manageable pieces and gives me a midpoint where I can get some water and some Gu. And cry.

I made it and went back to the house to get cleaned up. Today was special for another reason.

I don’t have many days here in Seattle so I have to take advantage of all I can while I’m here. And this doesn’t mean sponging off the in-laws either. I’m talking food.

When I was going to college here, Carrie and I had our favorite Chinese restaurant called the Mandarin Palace. I think everywhere, there is a Mandarin Palace.

This one had a huge fish tank that the kids loved but there is just something sad about watching a monstrous fish flick its tail twice before having to turn around. What could it be thinking?

“Oh, here I am again. Better turn ‘round.”

I mean even for a fish, that’s gotta get old.

We went to eat lunch there and I noticed that the waiter was the same guy I remember from when I was going to school from 1992 to 1997. And he hadn’t aged a day. Upon further investigation, my brother-in-law Scotty remembers the guy from when Scott was a kid and guess what. He looked EXACTLY the same back then.

Kind of made me wonder what was in the food.

After stuffing myself to the very breaking point, I waddled out of there and back to the house for a non-so-deserved nap: yet another tradition.

Run. Food. Nap. The trifecta of Body By Jason.

Today was also the day that I once again broke and thus proved my rule about messing with someone else’s computer.

I am a computer genius. OK, maybe I’m just an advanced user. Well, maybe intermediate. OK, I’m a computer retard that knows enough to get into trouble.

Did the in-laws actually ask me to fix their computer? Why no, that would make what I tried to do seem sensible.

“Hey, your computer in running Windows 97. I can make it much better with Windows 2000 and I have my external hard drive. Why don’t I just fix that up for you?”

Why don’t I just shut my shithole and not set myself up?

Things didn’t go as planned. Do they ever? Everything was fine until the damn computer wouldn’t start up at all. I had completely broken the damn thing as a result of nothing I could really explain. It just didn’t work and there was nothing I could do about it.

Furthermore, they didn’t ask me so I had to make things right which consisted of taking the thing into someone who was going to charge me a lot of money just to get it back to where it was before I retarded all over the damn thing.

God I can be such an idiot sometimes. I mean, you NEVER offer to fix a computer. You don’t even want people asking you to “look at it real quick” for them but when you carry around a masters in IT, there tends to be expectations. I know this. I know the rules and yet there I am offering up my unsolicited services like I’m some kind of computer scientist.

What was the damage? Well, computer geek boy tells me I installed it wrong (although the same installation had worked dozens of other times) and that he had to use another drive to get it booted up so he could access the drive and reinstall. All of this I could have done if I wasn’t on vacation and all my computer fix-it stuff wasn’t boxed up somewhere in San Diego waiting for me to arrive.

So $175 later, my in-laws had Windows 2000 and basically the same capabilities they had before. All the improvements were on things they never used anyway. So yeah, money well-spent on my part.

But I did manage to fix up a dozen other little annoying problems they were having although it took awhile to reinstall and troubleshoot them.

When will I learn?

Free Advice for Today: “When you carve the Thanksgiving turkey, give the first piece to the person who prepared it.”

- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.