How Did I Get Here?

Wednesday

When I first went in the Marine Corps, I heard of this great deal called Quarter Sales. It was this mythical place hidden somewhere on base where you could buy uniform items at a quarter of the original price. I never quite found out where there was and I guess some bases had it and some didn’t.

I never knew what the concept was all about. I mean, why did they sell full price at the PX if they had a Quarter Sales on base? Probably for yokals like me who didn’t know better.

I heard a few years ago that they had changed it to “Half Sales.” I thought, yeah, the mighty dollar speaks. They weren’t making enough money with ¼ so they started charging half.

Now they have changed it to “Cash Sales” which confuses me more. They take credit cards so why the name?

Sticks introduced me to the concept here on MCRD. When recruits drop out of training for some reason, they have to turn in their uniforms but the Marine Corps can’t resell them as new. So they wash them and send them to cash sales.

They obviously can’t sell everything and Sticks introduced me to another warehouse where you can get black socks, t-shirts, and running shorts for free. You don’t want used socks or t-shirts. Believe me, you don’t. But since the Marine Corps changes PT uniforms as fast as Paris Hilton changes sheets, this is a good source to get the latest ugly crap the Marine Corps requires. And people, these new PT shorts are hideous. They are like when you accidentally put a pair of baggy shorts on backwards. And inside out.

But I had to have a pair so that’s where I got them. Bleck.

Back at cash sales, I was looking for a desert pattern cammie set. When I graduated NPS in 2003, they had changed the uniform and I had to buy new sets. I figured I was getting out in 2007 so I bought two pair of green ones and expected never to have to buy another pair. Then Quantico decided to require the desert pattern one week a month which really pissed me off since for the 2 ½ years I was there, I never touched the second pair of green ones.

I went and bought the desert cammies at full price and when I unexpectedly got stationed here at MCRD San Diego, I found out that they wear the deserts half the year when we wear our sleeves up. In the winter, we wear the green ones sleeves down.

What does this mean? That I needed a second pair of deserts because I wear them every day for many more hours than I put in at Quantico.

So you see, it was good news that they had cash sales here and I could get a pair of deserts for about $18. Good news until I realized that it was tough to get ahold of them.

Why?

Because many times they will pick through the dropped recruits’ cammies and send them over to the swimming tank where they need them for the water survival portion of bootcamp.

Not only that but you have to be careful because some of the cammies are trashed. If the recruit made it to 2nd or 3rd phase before dropping, then the cammies are worn, faded, and soaked in depression.

I found a good medium-regular top (we call them “blouses” and have for so long, it’s lost its feminine connotation to us) but they didn’t have anything but freak sizes for the trousers. Small-long, Large-short, etc. I’ll just have to come back and check every so often to find a medium-regular (the most popular size by far).

I also had a conversation with a Major and when I mentioned all of this, he looked at me like I had just shit on his head.

“You bought that trash?”

“I wouldn’t wear anything that was tainted with failure. I would rather buy new, pristine uniforms. Tainted with failure, I tell you.”

OK, I thought this guy was nuts but I played along.

“If we are attributing supernatural existences to clothing, then how can you blame the poor uniform? I mean, it was born in a factory and hoped that one day to proudly be worn by a United States Marine. Just because it drew the short straw, should we punish the poor thing by ostracizing it or should we allow it to fulfill its destiny?”

I don’t think he appreciated my sarcasm.

While we were out, we decided to hit the recruit PX. Yes, the recruits still have basic hygiene needs (in fact, increased ones since they live in such close quarters) so they get a chance every once in awhile to hit the PX and get some basics.

No, it’s not like the normal PX in that it only stocks stuff that recruits are allowed to have; toiletries and such. Actually, there ARE some contraband items that only DIs and other Marines can buy. Why they have them there, I don’t know but the DIs are pretty hawkish and direct at what the recruits purchase.

Like many places on the base, I experienced my first time back in this little store since 1987. It was just as I remembered it and I was still touched by a little nervousness because it’s in my DNA but it was strange to be in there knowing I wasn’t going to get the treatment by some DI.

For some reason, the number one thing that everyone knows about is cheap razors there. What normally cost $8-$9 for a pack of four replacements costs $2.50. You can get a case for $30 and Marines come from far and wide to take advantage of this deal. I will have to return when I feel like dropping 30 big ones on razors.

Today, I returned to my office without anything except some PT shorts tainted by failure.

Free Advice for Today: “Never wash a car, mow a yard, or select a Christmas tree after dark.”

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 26th, 2006 at 12:02 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.