How Did I Get Here?

Wednesday

Last Wednesday I talked about Mrs. Badger so let me continue on a theme (other than the lame “Way Back Wednesday” thing) and come clean about the most embarrassing moment during that era for me.

Like I said, I was an ideal child. Quiet, cute, obedient, you know, exactly what I’m NOT now.

Anyway, I completely flipped out of character and decided I should clip the back of my friend’s head with my hand in class one day when the teacher wasn’t looking.

What I didn’t expect that in the act of doing so, my elbow would hit the leading edge of the hard plastic grade school chair he was sitting on, resulting in the classic funny bone shot on steroids.

The pain shot up my tiny arm like a bolt of electricity and in the instant it took to go from funny bone to my tiny brain, it had gained enough momentum to bring an elephant to its knees.

I grabbed my elbow, shot out of my chair, and started screaming in a shrill siren that instantly grabbed the attention of the entire school.

It didn’t help matters that we had an open architecture so there were no walls separating the entire interior of the school.

I went running helter skelter, screaming like a banchee which degraded into a crying fit as I tumbled to the ground.

This, of course freaked out Mrs. Badger as she waddled after me.

Then, it stopped hurting as fast as it began and I was “normal” again. I had tears in my eyes but no longer had a reason to be crying so I found myself just sitting there not exactly knowing what to do.

I got up went back to my desk while the ENTIRE school looked at me. I was like “What?”

Yeah, embarrassing.

Somewhere, there are people in their late 30s telling stories about this freaky little quiet kid who freaked out one day in the middle of school.

Hey, at least I didn’t go all Jeremy on them.

Free Advice for Today: “Learn the history of your hometown.”