How Did I Get Here?

Tuesday

Bad run!

You were a bad little run today!

No! No!

I can’t even begin to tell you how much today’s run sucked ass. I mean, today’s run was the kind of run that non-runners look at and say, see, running sucks.

Because it did today.

I got out about ¾ of the way and I crashed. The heat seemed to spike, my blood sugar plummeted, and my will to keep going evaporated. I was reduced to walking.

And hating.

See, even those of us that run a lot can have off days where, to tell the truth, running is not really worth it. Not worth the intangibles that we espouse continually.

Today’s running was like getting 4 nickels in exchange for a $100 bill.

Today’s run sucked like a Hoover.

Today’s run ate my lunch.

Today’s run rammed a gag in my mouth and called me gimp.

Today’s run was like Michael Moore’s underwear: not pleasant under any circumstance.

Today’s run was as fun as recreational dentistry from the blind.

Today’s run was like mixing a tube of toothpaste in orange juice and guzzling it while clawing a chalkboard.

Today’s run was to “fun” as Momma Cass was to “svelte.”

Today’s run was simply asstastic.

You get the idea.

Free Advice for Today: “Call your parents as soon as you return from a long trip.”

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 29th, 2007 at 12:38 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.