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Viper Hell: Seaworld All Day Every Day

Monday, July 9th, 2007


Quote of the Day: “Men are not against you; they are merely for themselves.”

- Gene Fowler

Not Seaworld again, not Seaworld again, not Seaworld again, not Seaworld again, not Seaworld again, not Seaworld again, not Seaworld again, not Seaworld again, not Seaworld again…

“Babe, they want to go to Seaworld today.”


That’s it, I’m not going. I can’t. I just can’t go. Not again.

I can’t wait in the same lines with the same fat, clueless tourists. I can’t waddle into the same cheesy shows and see the same cheesy shtick.

I can’t look at the same cheap, overpriced, confoundedly stupid souvenirs.

I’ll stay home, thank you very much.

I just have never been able to overcome what many, obviously better, parents have been able to do: suspend their sanity to sit through all the stuff kids go monkey over. Over the years I have accomplished it to some degree but it’s been my lovely wife that had been the real trooper here and took the kids to your Lands Before Time, your Barneys On Ice, etc.

I have only been able to stomach some of it that has some semblance of adult appeal; your Lion Kings, your zoos, your Looney Toons.

Maybe I’ll do better as a grandfather. Time will tell.

Carrie, the kids, and our guests made their way to Seaweedworld and I stayed at home doing what, left to my own devices, turns into the perfect Friday night: reading, writing, surfing, eating, and watching TiVo’ed episodes of The Daily Show.

I live such an exciting life sometimes.

I think I vaguely remember them coming back at midnight or so. I guess they saw Shamu rock, or as I refer to it “Shamu SUCKS!”

Free Advice for Today: “Buy a new tie to wear to your wedding rehearsal dinner. Wear it only once. Keep it forever.”

- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

3 Comments - Join in the conversation below

  1. Your mom called. She wants to be sure to go to Seaworld next month when she’s visiting.

    Comment by ~Jeanie~ — October 13, 2007 @ 8:32 pm

  2. LOL!

    Comment by freedom496 — October 14, 2007 @ 6:11 am

  3. The old lady can stroll alone!

    Comment by Jason — October 14, 2007 @ 10:39 pm

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