How Did I Get Here?

Saturday

Today I participated in the age-old practice that has been around since there were two people on Earth; one senior to the other.

I went to my boss’s Christmas Party.

OK, maybe since Christ was born but you get the idea.

My boss had a party at his house on base so just like five other days of the week, I got to make the trek from my house to the Depot. But this time, I had my family in tow and I wasn’t going in to have my soul sucked out of my being one day at a time.

The first sticky part was unique to the military: what to put on the nametag.

Jason?
Major Grose?
OpsO?
Your Daddy (in order to answer the question…)

I held off on this until I saw the Colonel write his first name so, OK, I’ll go with “Jason” which was weird since there was everyone from the Battalion there, even Lance Corporals.

I spent my time playing with toddlers since my own kids don’t really appreciate when I hold them anymore.

Teenagers. Phhht!

There was also a full-blooded Rhodesian Ridgeback with full-on ridge on her back. And just like my own Buster who is half RR, she made sure to jump up and smack me in the lips with her rock-hard head.

Yep, Rhodie.

Sign of maturity or Old-Man syndrome?… there was endless quantities of beer available. Even my favorite: Coors Light in a bottle, and I had a total of …. hold on, get ready for this….. one. Yes, I had ONE free beer even though I had a DD in the form of my lovely wife.

Dude, what the hell? Am I like in my 60s or something?

I have endless beer and I have ONE and play with the kids and a dog that fattens my lip.

We ate lasagna and baked goods before the ornament exchange which was not as fun(ny) as expected since there was not a lot of stealing going on. Unless you count one of the smartass Sergeants who kept stealing the Colonel’s wife’s ornament even though he could give two shits about the actual ornament. He just knew she wanted the ones she kept getting.

Gotta love when you invite Sergeants to the Colonel’s Christmas party.

Free Advice for Today: “If you are involved in an automobile accident, don’t admit fault (there may be extenuating circumstances) and don’t discuss the accident with anyone except the police and your insurance agent.”