How Did I Get Here?

Quote of the Day: “Life is a sexually transmitted disease.”

For all of you that think I’ve been faking, you will be glad to hear that my acting skills are above average since I convinced the doctor that I have pneumonia.

Maybe it was the chest x-ray.

Maybe something in the vile of blood they took.

Maybe the golf-ball size green lugies I seem to be able to produce at will. (Sexy, I know.)

So what did they do for me?

Well, Nurse Ratchet gave me a shot in the ass from something I can only describe as a jousting lance that was supposed to help but in the end (excuse the pun) it just felt like somebody had stabbed me in the butt for the rest of the day.

They gave me the same 5 medications that didn’t help last Tuesday plus antibiotics and some sweet, sweet Dramamine. Not the real stuff but the military version that was supposed to introduce me to the Sandman; something that has eluded me for almost a week.

I hurriedly tried to close up and pass off any bursting bombs at work because I couldn’t take the meds until I got home. I had to do some driving, you see, and doing so when hopped up on a half-a-dozen medications doesn’t exactly spell out safe.

Not that I remembered much of the ride home except that I stayed in the far right lane, drove under the speed limit, and wondered if I was going to make it home before my chest and sinuses just all-out exploded.

A mouth full of pills and a belly-flop on the bed later, I was swept away.

Blissful, blissful sleep.

Free Advice for Today: “Learn Spanish. In a few years, more than thirty-five percent of all Americans will speak it as their first language.”