Wasting Time in Front of the Boob Tube
Wednesday, January 20th, 2010
Quote of the Day: “Reality continues to ruin my life.”
- Bill Watterson
I was right!
I would be paying for the leaf-collecting bend-over-rama I foolishly participated in yesterday.
And what form of payment would that be?
I looked like an Allen wrench for the majority of the day.
See what I get for wanting my lawn to look good? As Sir Phil was always so fond of saying, no geed deed goes unpunished.
This, of course, didn’t stop me from going to the gym and getting a treadmill workout in but it did result in me spending most of the day and night doing what I am guessing most of you assume I do every day: lay on my couch with remote in hand.
Even so, I did accomplish some things:
I finished the 3rd season of 24. if you are keeping score, in the end…
- Both Salazar brothers, dead (shot and blowed up).
- The gorgeous Ms. Salazar, dead (shot)
- Gael the Agent, really dead (deadly virus)
- Alan the Wheelchaired Spinmaster, dead (heart attack)
- The Adulterous Ms. Milliken, dead (self-inflicted shot to the head)
- Sherry “The Bitch” Palmer, dead (shot)
- Ryan “the Bastard” Chappelle, dead (shot in the head by Jack)
- Stephen Saunders, dead (shot by Gael’s widow)
- Michael Amador, dead (blown up in car)
- Nina Myers, dead (shot by Jack)
Who DIDN’T die was Kim Bauer which I was terribly upset about. I would have liked to see her die by a combination of EVERY method above.
I also got a chance to catch up on two shows I watch that I’m not exactly proud of:
1. The Biggest Loser: Why am I such a sucker for this? I keep getting stuff in my eye when I watch the back stories on these.
I also tend to root for the people who people that know me wouldn’t think I would like. Case in point, the big fat Italian guy. I like him. Don’t know why. He’s loud, obnoxious, and has a selfish, lazy streak.
And the same “character” I hated when one showed up on American Idol.
But this guy on The Biggest Loser (Michael) just cracks me up. On his weigh in, he lost some ridiculous amount of weight and was celebrating by saying “Oh my God, can you see my abs?”
That hooked me.
Trivia I didn’t know: Jillian was a fat teenager who had anger issues.
Anger issues? Yeah, I can see that but fat? Wow, that’s weird.
The final mystery though is why I always tend to be eating the most fattening, disgustingly high-calorie dinner or snack when I’m watching this.
2. American Idol:
This show was in Chicago and had the normal collection of freaks you see in the first few episodes of each season. It had some guest judge who I can’t remember and am too lazy to look up.
Anyway, the important moment of the night came when I finally got sick of a fly buzzing our family during the entire night. It was a big, fat bastard but my son couldn’t get it with a newspaper so I found my trusty bug zapper that looks like a small tennis racquet. It was a gift from a friend (Hi Chris!) in Saudi and was a definite asset there in the insect-infested KingDumb.
Turns out, it works just as well here.
I almost took out a lamp and yes, I left a scrape on the ceiling but I got the bastard and it fried for a good long time before I dumped it’s crispy carcass in the trash. Kind of like I wish Kim Bauer …. nevermind.
The sense of accomplishment was palpable.
I lead a sad life these days, folks.
Free Advice for Today: “Find a creative florist and give them all your business.”
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
