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Warrior Princess

Saturday, March 20th, 2010

Quote of the Day: “Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.”

- Aldous Huxley

Today my in-laws returned from the Mexican cruise and they both have all their kidneys so I guess it was a success.

They also brought back their daughter and her new husband to hang out for a day before returning to Montana.

So it’s great to have family and more family in the area for a couple of days.

Today, I took my daughter to a bounce house. It was the end-of-the-season party for her basketball team so the coach decided to do something out of the ordinary and take them to a gym that has all of these bounce-house trampoline set ups where kids can just go wild and the parents can sit around bored and wonder how kids can endure such exertion and how ankles and other joints can survive such savagery.

Kid energy, wish I could bottle it.

I made an observation that I immediately had to edit and clarify: I didn’t recognize many of these girls with their street clothes on.

Wait, I DID say I had to clarify so give me a chance before you call the authorities….

Most of the girls I had only seen while at basketball games so I was used to seeing oversized singlets, long shorts, and hair pulled back into ponytails. To see them in normal street clothes was weird.

“Who is that?” I found myself asking over and over. When Steph would tell me, I had to once again refrain from uttering my statement, “She looks completely different with clothes on.”

There was a great Karate Kid moment I would like to share.

There was a pugil stick cage with a bouncy floor and netting where everyone could watch the padded combatants pummel each other. The crowd had gathered and were watching one of the male assistants, a kid that helped out the team, win match after match.

Impressive, Dude, you can beat up high school girls.

The thought occurred to me, all right, pugil sticks. I just spent 22 years in the Marine Corps and we trained with these to perfect hand-to-hand combat. If there was one thing I knew how to do, it was to win at this. I almost laughed when I saw what was going on.

It was almost unfair. I mean, I AM a Marine and this WAS pugil sticks. I could give my daughter a serious, if unfair advantage. But then I saw the guy perform a vicious side lunge that caught his female opponent on the side of the head and knocked her down.




I tapped my daughter on the shoulder and told her to come talk to me in private.

She was up next and here is what I told her.

“The trick to this whole thing is balance. He tends of use his weight as an advantage by popping his opponent, knocking her off balance, and then pushing her out of the ring.

Here is what I want you to do. When the whistle goes, he will come right at you. Keep your center of gravity low by bending you knees, lean forward on your haunches, and absorb the first attack. After that, he will overcommit and be off balance. That’s when you attack.”

I explained the rest of what I wanted to do and she was called to the ring.

I stayed on the outside, my fingers tightly grasped in the netting with my heart in my throat. My thoughts were twofold…

“Crush this bastard”


“If you hurt her, I will annihilate you.”

Super Stud was confident as everyone cheered. Why shouldn’t he be, he had beat the last half dozen girls and Steph was just the next victim.

When “GO” was sounded, just as I predicted, Super Stud tried to bum rush, expecting to use his weight and momentum to push Steph out of the ring easily.

He was in no way ready for what happened next.

Just like I told her, she leaned forward and crouched.

I believe I saw a bit of confusion in Super Stud’s face. No girl had ever NOT flinched at his bull rushes.

But he could not contemplate this for long because his world was about to be rocked.

As he lumbered forward, Steph did exactly what I told her to do. From the crouch, leaning forward, she rotated her stick upward while lunging up, transferring the power generated in her legs to her rotating torso and then to her stick.

The effect was shattering.

Together with her upward, rotating thrust and his momentum rushing toward her, she caught him squarely on the side of the head and the sound was like a wet, openhanded slap.

I gotta hand it to the guy, he can take a punch. And a punch he took.

His attack was DONE. His head just got popped and he was standing straight up, reeling.

Then, Steph performed the second thing I told her to do. She crouched again, keeping her center of gravity low and leaned slightly forward, placed her pugil stick across his chest, and drove her legs with everything she had.

Super Stud was bull rushed out of the ring and Steph stood there alone, the conqueror, pugil stick raised above her head in victory.

The crowd of girls went bizerk!

I almost ripped the netting with my grip and my eyes watered up. The victims became the victors.

Steph beat the next couple of adversaries but eventually gave up the ring when a younger sister of one of the girls insisted on getting a shot.

I was so proud of her. She was vicious and controlled in battle and gentle and thoughtful when her opponent was a young girl who she let push her out of the ring. Steph obliged with a bit of a smile as she allowed the young girl to taste the sweet nectar of victory. Steph congratulated her and encouraged her to keep fighting.

My daughter is truly a warrior.

Free Advice for Today: “Dress respectfully when attending church.”

- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.