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Synopsis:
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Chuckie Heston plays Ben Hur, a rich, noble,
Jew whose childhood buddy, a Roman named Messala, returns
to his hometown to become the vice-governor. When Ben’s
buddy tries to get him to use his influence to quell the
anti-Roman rule, Hur tells him to pack sand.
Messala then sets up some trumped up charges
and banishes Hur to be a slave rower in the Roman Navy
but Hur saves a powerful officer from death and eventually
becomes the powerful officer’s adopted son. Hur
returns home after three years looking to kick some Messala
ass while also looking for his mother and sister who were
imprisoned when Hur was booted. Turns out that Hur hooks
back up with one of his former slaves and together they
find the mother and sister in a leper colony.
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Hur, who also became an expert chariot racer, races
against Messala in the much-heralded chariot race scene where
Messala bites the big one. Hur has gotten everything he wants
but is still unhappy and faithless until he witnesses the crucifixion
of Christ. When Jesus is dragging the cross, Hur gives him some
water (returning the same favor Jesus performed when Hur was
banished and marched across the desert) and this act earns the
mother and sister complete healing.
Ben Hur has prevailed, has his mother and sister back,
and gets to shack up with his slave-bride.
Starring:
| Judah Ben-Hur |
Charlton Heston |
Well, Ben Hur, of course |
| Quintus Arrius |
Jack Hawkins |
The rich Officer |
| Esther |
Haya Harareet |
Slave chick promised to another but saved herself
for Ben Hur |
| Messala |
Stephen Boyd |
Jerk-off, childhood friend who got too big for
his skirt |
| Sheik Ilderim |
Hugh Griffith |
Hilarious character who played a very stereotypical
Arab caricature |
| Miriam |
Martha Scott |
Leper sister, don't touch |
What I liked:
- The chariot scene was pretty good, although I'd heard
too much about it and couldn't help but watch it with a technical
eye.
- The scene when Ben Hur returns and surprises Messala
was classic. It should have started out with "Wassup,
Bitch?"
- I felt like I made a huge check in the box by watching
this. I mean, it's just one of those things you have to do
in life.
- The story was pretty good and I was surprised how
interested I could be in a movie made 9 years before I was
born. I was a little intimidated at first (it's Ben Hur
for crissakes!!) but I shouldn't have been because the
storyline was spoon fed the entire way through.
What I didn't like:
- This was a freakin long movie that didn't set well with
my attention deficit disorder mentality. But since it was
an epic and all, I took that into account.
- The opening scene was 10 minutes of music showing the
Sistine Chapel fingers. Plus, the second tape had a similar
opening. People in the 1950s may have needed the bathroom
breaks but why put it on the VHS reproduction?
- I'm sorry but the music was awful (for modern audiences,
at least). I had to laugh several times at the over-dramatic
symphony just spooning the mood to the audience. I will not
be purchasing the soundtrack.
- Some of the acting was overdone but again, I attributed
it to 1950-style. The girlfriend would say something very
dramatic and then turn her head away and the music would blair.
- I've read where the original story had Ben Hur and Messala
as homos which would fit in the story but I'm glad that they
didn't and that I didn't know all this prior to watching it.
- The leper scene really grossed me out. I kept yelling
"DON'T TOUCH HER! SHE'S ...NO...NO, AHHHHH NOW YOU'VE
GOT IT YOU MORON!!!"
Date Watched: July 6-8 (yeah, I had
to split it up)
Running Time: 212 long minutes
Parting Shot: Worth seeing but make
sure you don't have anything to do and I suggest you break it
up into two or three days, like watching a movie at school.
Forgive the old style acting and musical score and just enjoy
the story. Plus, don't think about the Hur-Messala homo thing
and be prepared to get the willies when they fondle the lepers.
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